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This morning's run was twenty-five minutes. (Twenty!-five!-minutes!) ♥ Progress!
The woes of the world have been getting me down this week, and I skipped Sunday's run and then Tuesday's too. And after such a beautiful run last time too! Sigh. I forced myself into my pink shoes and out the door this morning, determined not to let myself slip-and-slide deeper into Ye Olde Depression, figuring I'd run the first five minutes of Week 5's podcast then do a walking break, repeat-til-done. At five minutes, though, I felt good enough to go for eight, and at eight, I knew I could run ten--and was amazed at what an experience I'd had to push myself to have at all was turning into--and soon enough, my Garmin-watch read "[Time-Run: 14 minutes and however-many seconds]," and I decided I was way too close to twenty-minutes-straight at that point to stop. ("Now, I figured since I'd run this far," explained Forrest Gump, "maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. . . .") :) Maybe everything on my mind just distracted me enough mentally to make it easier to do physically, but I completed the twenty minutes and felt okay at the end of it. Last month at this time, I hadn't even (re-)started running yet! It's fascinating to me what the body adapts to and learns. Onward and upward, then. Twenty minutes straight! Now we're getting somewhere.
After working about thirty hours of overtime this week: Finally, a day off. And with The-World-at-Large seemingly spinning out of control, I feel a bit guilty saying that it has been such a sweet day here. A big bowl of cinnamon-topped berries this morning. A nap that didn't leave me feeling groggy. A small birthday package mailed to my almost-twelve-year-old nephew. Emails to and from cousins. A grilled cheese-and-zucchini sandwich for lunch. A taco salad for supper. Iced tea with lemon all day. And ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, best of all, a run tonight that was the first in my life I think I've ever loved. It was 9 pm when I left the apartment for it, making it the latest I've ever run, and it was like a beautiful dream the entire half-hour. The sky was setting as I did my warm-up walk, the moon misty behind coral-pink and deep lavender-gray clouds. Fireflies appeared and disappeared in front of me as if lighting my path the entire run. One even landed on my shirt. A cat peeked out at me from a yard's side-gate and didn't make a move toward the street as I always fear cats will even though I'd impulsively cooed, "Oh, pretty! Hello, Sweet Face" as I passed him. I ran faster than on all my previous runs since re-starting the running last month. The trees were soon silhouetted black against a now-all-lavender sky. A family was playing tag under the lights on a school's lacrosse field. And I ran so easily tonight, it made up for the harder moments from this past month. I'm now halfway through the nine-week program, and it is so exciting to feel my own progress. By the end of next week, I should be running twenty minutes without stopping. Twenty minutes! I treated myself to a bouquet of pink roses this evening to celebrate. ♥ And soon will be in bed with a book. Bliss.
Disgustingly hot and humid days have set in, and I grouse about them before and after each run and walk, but they've been so beautiful too. A neighbor's Hollyhocks are blooming, all in shades of pink and white, and I dodge the bumblebees zipping around them as I return to the apartment every day. One blissful 72° afternoon found me in the kitchen baking pumpkin-dark chocolate chip-chia seed muffins after catching a few minutes of nutritionist Joy Bauer's program on PBS that reminded me to eat more pumpkin, but other than the muffins and Saturday's made-late-at-night pie, it's been a no-bake summer so far.
It's becoming a no-sit-still summer too, between the walks and the runs. I'm plodding on with my return to the "Couch to 5K" learn-to-run plan and began Week 3 (of 9) this afternoon: I can now comfortably run three minutes straight. :) By the end of next week, I'll have completed Week 4, which means. . .five minutes straight, and Week 5 ends with a 2-mile (or twenty-minute) run. Progress, then! I stopped mid-Week 5 in 2010, so the most I learned to run without stopping was eight minutes. Even during the five-or-so 5k races and two half marathons I finished years ago, I couldn't run longer than eight minutes without stopping to walk before running again, so my being determined to do this thing properly this time, and to take my time with it, and to honor the learning process and the races and myself in this way has been a huge shift in perspective. I like that it's hard. I like that there's an ongoing learning involved in this. I like that it makes me appreciate my body and good health all the more. I like that it doesn't really come naturally to me but that there's something about it that has brought me back to it time after time since high school. Running has always appealed to me so much, but I've never stuck with it. The day I completed that first eight-minute run of Week 5 in 2010, I sent my parents a letter that mentioned it. "Eight minutes straight! I'm finally a runner!" But then I didn't finish the last four weeks of the program. Who knows. It is one of the "Val, Val, Val" things that bothers me most, my slacking-off and not pushing myself with this, and I'm determined to become disciplined--or maybe, now, to remain disciplined--about this. The challenge is good for me in so many ways, and dragging myself out into the humidity every other day for these runs is making this summer both so hard and so rich.
It was 2010 or maybe early 2011 the last time I found myself following the "Couch to 5k" learn-to-run-3-miles-in-9-weeks training plan. Heeeeeeeere we are again, having just come in from a rain-soaked Day 1. All my walking has not made my running any easier, and the many pounds I've gained since the last time running felt even remotely easy made me wonder if I was actually dragging bags of flour along with me with every step today. Bah! BAH! to how hard this is! BAH! to this monkey--or bag of flour--on my back! BAH! But no one is making me do this, and I have big goals, and God knows I am too stubborn to give up, so indeed, here we are again. The last time I used this training plan--and this is maybe the fourth time I've done it now (so ridiculous, but credit-to-self for persistence [Positive self-talk!])--I finished the second day of Week 5 and then stopped. I don't even remember why, but I stopped that close to the end. This time, with bigger goals in mind, I am beyond determined to finish this. Bag-o-flour, be gone! Day 2 will be Saturday, and I will finish Week 1 of 9 early Monday morning. Val, Val, Val.
This feta cheese heart crumble greeted me in my vegetable pasta lunch at work yesterday, and I will take it as encouragement for the journey.
My birthday fell the day before Mother's Day this year, making my weekend home even sweeter for both me and Mom. Some years, we mail each other our cards and goodies, and other years, we just wait until we see each other to exchange gifts. This time around, Mom made me my usual cheesecake--and the only cheesecake I've ever liked (with a chilled-not-baked filling of lemon gelatin, cream cheese, sugar, evaporated milk, and vanilla)--for Saturday night, and we all had leftovers of that and Mom's berries-and-flowers Mother's Day cake on Sunday, so by yesterday, a single cupcake back here at the apartment seemed like more than enough. I froze a few Lilac petals I'd pulled from one of Mom and Dad's shrubs before leaving yesterday morning and they were still a pretty shade of lilac when thawed and sprinkled over the cupcake last night, but the camera refused to capture the color. In any case, this was my tiny 39th birthday cake, a simple end to a sweet weekend and a pretty start to the last year of my thirties.
A woman I spent some time talking with in my hometown bus station yesterday morning asked me if I was a student, and I was momentarily flustered by the question, answering clumsily, "Oh no, I'm out of school--Done with school. I'm older. I'll be 40 next year"--because I'm smooth like this in conversation, clearly (see: Goals, cross-referenced with Val, Self-Improvement Needs of) :)--and she exclaimed, "Forty!? I was thinking maybe 24 if you were out of school! Well! Good for you!" Noooo, thank youuuuuuuuu! We talked some more, and it was part of an otherwise already-lovely kick-off to the year ahead. Lisa and Cheryl, if I looked 39 or 40 or 45 to you in-person last month, let me have a week before you burst my bubble. ;)
Last year's birthday wishes and goals included finishing a first draft of the 80s memoir I've been working on, and while I've written a lot, I learned early-on this past year that producing a rough draft by this May wasn't a realistic goal, so the work on that continues. I continue to write, though, and I'm still walking my way back into running shape, dreaming of spending the morning of my 40th birthday finishing my first full marathon. I have a lot of (gained, lost, and re-gained) weight to (re-)lose before then, and many miles to walk and then run before that day, but it remains the goal. Here's to the year ahead.
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I have been breaking in a pair of new shoes today, with five-and-a-half miles walked and a couple blocks run. After a completely unimpressive pair of Nikes about six years ago, I gave them another chance and treated myself to their "Air Zoom Pegasus" shoes today. And woo hoo! These are some of the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. I love them. LOVE them. After a morning walk in pouring rain, this afternoon's was only dry and brisk, evidence of this past weeks' snowfall all but gone, the sky a cliché January blah above me, and the pink of my shoes the only color on the road below me. I found not the usual heart, but instead a smile, during my brief trial run too, brightening the day a bit more.
We are now two weeks into the start of my favorite four months of the year. Glorious fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas preparations: Love! And today I am looking even farther ahead to May 2017, when--as I mentioned awhile back--the city's annual marathon will be held on my fortieth birthday. I contacted the marathon officials this weekend to confirm the date, and yes, as I'd expected, 2017's race is slated for May 7th. What better way to mark such a milestone birthday! Being able to finish the race would be a fine way to celebrate the good health I'm blessed to have and the dedication I'm hoping to have found in myself by then. I haven't run at all since fall 2011, I think, and I've gained/lost some of/regained/gained even more/lost a good bit of the weight I put on during grad school, so it will be quite a challenge, but I haven't been able to shake the idea since it first occurred to me last year.
For now, the plan remains to lose the rest of the weight needed to get back to where I was at my healthiest a few years ago--this morning's weigh-in shows I've now lost twenty-two pounds since rededicating myself to this earlier this summer, so I'm on track on that front--then slowly ease myself back into running, and eventually, really train to be able to handle so many miles. It is still a vague plan, but seeing as how I'm only in the get-back-into-running-shape stage, I think vague is just fine at this point. My aunt Jodie, Mom's youngest sister, started running in her thirties and is is now an avid marathoner at forty-six. Obviously, people accomplish these things--and why shouldn't I be one of those people. :)
I hope to tell you the story of these roses next week. They marked a happy occasion for me this past year and are one of 2014's photos and stories that didn't make the blog. Next week, I hope. ♥
The year ends with the wing chair re-do still in-progress. I'm still looking for fabric for the seat cover and back.
I mentioned in February that my older brother's "fortieth birthday fudge" arrived broken into pieces and that I was disappointed but was not going to beat myself up about it, but alas, I couldn't resist making a new batch for him later that month. I left it at my parents' house for him during a visit home along with another gift and a hand-painted deer ornament. Forty is a big deal; it was worth a second batch of Grandma's fudge. ♥
My new camera brought immeasurable joy to my days this year. The Neil Gaiman quote I opened a January post with--"I hope that in the year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world"--has come to mind so many times this year, the quote itself has felt like a gift. I remember my grandfather telling me that, "People who don't make mistakes don't make anything" at a time when I needed to hear exactly that, and to hear this echo of his words in the Gaiman quote has been a blessing to me. That I now have a real camera to take with me on my walks is just wonderfully fun for me. The Mourning Dove below was perched on a fence-post as I returned from a walk this summer--
--and I never could have taken a picture with detail like that with the camera on my old flip-phone. You understand my joy. :)
I mentioned at the end of 2013 that one of my goals for 2014 was to be more organized and thoughtful with my gift-wrapping like my dear aunt Laurie always is. I put more thought into my gift-wrapping, but I didn't end the year any more organized with it. Mom had predicted that it would be harder for us to be as organized as Aunt Laurie is with these types of things since Aunt Laurie's entire attic serves as her space for craft supplies and gift wrap supplies and gifts-yet-to-be-given. In a one-bedroom apartment, I don't have the same set-up, and after multiple organizational attempts this year, I've come to accept that I'll just have to do the best I can with what I have when it comes to this. Maybe someday, I too will have a space I can devote to all things gift-giving-related. Aunt Laurie didn't have her attic until she was in her forties, after all, so I still have time. Dare to dream. ;)
Our Easter table this year was sweet--turquoise and peach with rabbits--but I never got a post up about it. One of the local grocery stores had these adorable bunny truffles in its store-made candy department, so I bought two for our place-settings. If I'm remembering right, the ears were nuts--probably almond slices. Anyway, I want to make these sometime--maybe for Easter 2015. They "made" the table.
The girl-holding-her-cat figurine above was my favorite birthday gift this year. This was how it looked after I painted it to resemble me and Stuffed. I'm not a kick-knack person, but this little figure's so special to me.
One of the highlights of this past year--that also somehow didn't make it onto the blog--was a Color Run 5k race my friend Marylou and I ran/walked/laughed our way through this summer. I told Marylou if she'd come up from West Virginia for it and drive us to the race city, I'd pay for the motel stay and race fees. We made it work, and especially since it was the first time we'd seen each other since 2008, we had a blast.
That I was still finding purple and green powder from the run in my hair two showers later was a small price to pay. It was my first race of any length since 2011. So fun! ♥
In June, I got home in time to see my favorite rose, Louise Odier, in-bloom.
I also got to see all three of my mom's sisters. The above picture of Mom and Aunt Laurie is my all-time favorite of them together. This is the one I framed as part of Aunt Laurie's birthday gift last week. ♥
During that June visit home, my aunt Heidi showed me this old picture of me and my mom, and it has become one of my most-treasured possessions. I'd never seen it before. Love, love, love. ♥
I took photos I loved too.
And wrote at least one post this year that made me proud. I'd wanted to write about Papa and Grandma's crayon can for years, and I finally found the words.
A double rainbow appeared behind our apartment this summer. ♥
Stuffed was as dear as ever. ♥ Each year--each day--with this sweet soul is a gift.
I walked many miles in 2014.
And lost pounds that I have regained and lost and regained since then, the story of my life, it seems, but the glory is in the attempt, etc.
In 2014, I began donating books and book character toys/dolls to my former elementary school's library. The new year's first donations will be delivered when the kids return to school after holiday break next week. :)
Home continues to be cozy and colorful.
Mr. V wrote back! A long letter arrived in the mail just a few days after I'd mailed out his in October. ♥ He is now in-touch with my younger brother via Facebook, which also delights me. I got in touch with my kindergarten teacher and second grade teacher this year too, and they and I have emailed back and forth a few times, as well. My heart glows just thinking about it.
More walks. A glorious autumn, the most colorful one I remember ever seeing.
And a year that ends with memories of more gifts happily created and given--Emmet! ♥--
--and happily received.
2014 was challenging and beautiful and colorful and full of love. May 2015 shine just as brightly, and may I be a better and braver person by its end. I'm working on it, and the work continues. Ah! Happy new year to you all! ♥
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