Looking Forward to a New Year

Love and Best Wishes to You All  ♥

Needing a Better Day (or Thank God for Roses)

The kitchen sink has been clogged since Sunday.  Blah-blah to getting home from work after 11 pm to a night that went into the wee hours and then carried over into early Monday spent plunging, liquid Roto-Rooter blah, Drano blah-blah, a bottle of something else, blah-blah baking soda and vinegar trick, boiling water, salt, more boiling water, blah-blah, dish liquid and more boiling water, blah.  Snake #1 didn't work.  Snake #2 didn't work.  'Easily $40 wasted at this point, and so my day off Monday became more of the same and then cleaning the apartment to get ready for the building manager to come over--for the first time ever, so what a lovely first experience in our home.  And the wall I painted 1/3 black (BLACK!) and ended up not liking (not enough natural light for it, a story for another day) but haven't painted it over yet is--well, it just "is," and how wonderful that he got to see it in all its 1/3-painted (and-with-pink-roses-Wallies-pasted-on-too)!  Gah!  He worked on the sink a couple hours yesterday and got nowhere.  A plumber would be here "tonight or tomorrow."  Backing up:  I gave up on my day Sunday at 1 pm and let myself just sleep to escape.  I awoke at 4 pm Sunday to the news that Stuffed had fallen off his perch in his sleep "but seems okay" and did I know that while carrying containers of the stinky-not-draining-chemical-filled-water back to the bathroom sink to dump it into the sink there (since I was sick of the smell) that some of it had dripped and I had left a trail of bleached-out spots on the carpet leading through the kitchen, living room, and hallway?  (Well, I knew then!)  And it has been 80° inside the apartment even with our window air-conditioning unit going.  I'm not a heat person.  'Am mildly nauseous in it.  But windows open for fresh air while the sink is full of chemicals, especially for Stuffed, was my thinking Sunday and early Monday.  Gah!  'Decided Monday that obviously, we would still have our planned holiday meal, but what I cooked that I had loved so much New Year's Eve didn't taste at all the same to me Monday, and it involved both frying and baking in the ridiculous heat and humidity--and for nothing.  ('Not "for nothing":  Mike liked it, but this is a story of my trials and tribulations, so let's focus on me.)  ;)  'Decided later that what I really felt like was the rest of my endive with a simple oil and vinegar dressing, salt and pepper on top--yes, a lovely bowl of greens--but who was the dolt who used up all the vinegar on her read-about-online "no-fail" clogged sink remedy?!  So no endive.  And the store was closed, of course.  Dishes being washed in the bathroom sink.  Husband cutting himself doing the dishes.  21-year-old Stuffed peed on the living room floor yesterday for the first time ever.  'Such a worry anymore.  Will this ever end.   And in the midst of all this, to know that it's not only Memorial Day, but also Memorial Day during a pandemic and that that should be enough to keep it all in perspective for me and I should be grateful and happy for all that is safe, healthy, and good--and I *am* grateful and happy for all that is safe, healthy, and good--but it's still been a rotten few days, but that mental wrestling match keeps happening in my head anyway.  Bleh.  'Still waiting for the plumber, and I'm leaving for work soon.  Work is its own story, and it's one I won't tell, but as we all know or can imagine, days--now months--of masks and goggles are wearying.  I bought myself a big bouquet of coral roses yesterday before work, though, and that is a good thing.  This saga being what it is, though, I will also report that I didn't budget correctly and forgot that the bank was about to debit the electric bill money, so I now have $5-something in checking until I'm paid and another bill about to be debited from money-that's-not-there.  But. . .roses!  The ones out front are blooming too.  :)

Home Today

A cleansing and beautifying project seemed the way to go this weekend, and it's a rare weekend off, so I've been painting the orange wall a soft white as the start of redoing the wall in white, pink, and green.  A couple months ago, I ordered a wallpaper sample of this print--

--but since I'm not allowed to wallpaper here, I'm using the sample more as an idea for a hand-painted design.  

The red gingham curtains will be (moved into the bedroom possibly and) replaced with green gingham ones.  I have green gingham fabric I've ordered, green gingham fabric my grandmother's passed along, and a ready-made green gingham valance found at a thrift shop on one of my last visits home, so I'm thinking some combination of those pieces to make the new curtains.  I don't enjoy sewing, the curtain rods' brackets are rickety and like to fall out of the wall/window-frame whenever I so much as stare at them too long, and the wall and widow-frames themselves are as unyielding as bricks, so nothing about the curtain-making or curtain-hanging sounds like anything but a hassle except finishing it, so as soon as all the white-painting and rose-painting are done, I will need to buckle down and just do it. 

The white wall, green gingham, mostly gray pots/pans, probably-black frames for the samplers, and the pink roses all sound comforting and fresh and "me" to me and are the coziness I need right now, so I'm happy to see the change taking place finally, after having collected various pieces of the project for the past few months.  The safe haven of home is going to be that much sweeter and prettier, and the goal is to finish this part of it by Christmas.  Painting the swirls and stems of a few roses a day will be therapeutic this next month, and in the meantime, the soft white is soothing too.  

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers the past couple weeks.  ♥  I haven't had any nightmares the past two nights, which is huge.  And after working late the night before and racing around the morning of to finish making a sign to take with me, I did attend the peace rally in the park yesterday.  Security took away my sign before I could enter, telling me signs were not allowed, so I had arrived late for nothing after having made it.  Ah well, I made the effort, I attended, and now I will enjoy home and time off for another day.  Life is going on, and I remain determined to make it as sweet and good as I can, using cardboard signs, cans of paint, prayers, piles of books, hazelnut candles, wallpaper samples, and whatever else it takes. The back of my sign had simply read "Hang in there, Pittsburgh," and I will take my own advice. 

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ 

The Third Day of the Year

'A tranquil but determined start to the new year here.  I had a good bit of time off from work these past few weeks, and I used a lot of it to get some things organized and reorganized in this little apartment.  I have long thought of home-care and decorating and what I call puttering around--fluffing up the throw pillows, changing out the tablecloth, adding the fresh flowers to canning jars, hanging the new-old paintings and embroidered pieces sooner rather than later, refolding the granny square afghans on the backs of the chairs, taking oranges out of their mesh bag and adding them to the green stoneware bowl, even just putting the dishes back where they belong and arranging them neatly on their shelves--as hobbies or pastimes or interests, but I have realized this past month that for me, these little activities are actually a form of self-care.  Eureka!  When we see a woman who has made the extra effort to dress especially nicely, paint her nails, look out for her health and fitness, or [insert-your-own-examples], we think "There is someone who values herself and makes the time to take good care of herself," and I realize now that similarly, when my home is orderly and sweet and cheerful, I feel those things about myself.  When my home is orderly and sweet and cheerful, I feel those things about myself.  Ahhhh!  All the little "puttering around" tasks, then, aren't really chores at all, then, just as I would no longer think of them as one of my hobbies either.  I see now that they're more vital for me than that.  These are ways I take care of myself, I have just learned at 40-and-a-half-years-old:  I go for long walks, I take my vitamins, I try to eat and drink well, I use sunscreen year-round, I pray, I read, I cuddle with Stuffed, I show my love to my loves ones, I slather on lotion, I rest when needed, and I keep an organized and inviting home.  

On that front, I have tackled the bathroom cupboard--and after almost seven years of living here, have wrestled it into submission.  It is about seven feet tall and its three shelves are two feet deep but only twelve inches wide.  Without the shelves, it would be the perfectly-proportioned space to store a broom and mop, but . . .I think I've finally figured it out.  And now hanging vertically on the inside of its door are three narrow cork bulletin boards, my work-schedule, a list of that month's birthdays and other need-to-send-a-card-or-otherwise-mark-a-special-day occasions, a small pink dry-erase board I'm using as my weekly food diary, a basket for pens and dry-erase markers, Stuffed's litter-scoop, a dust pan and broom, and a six-inch-wide calendar I use to record my daily walks.  'A good use now, and better late than never, of that seven-foot tall-but-only-twelve-inch-wide door too.  Take that, Ill-Proportioned Closet.  That alone has made home and life feel so much tidier.  It's What-I-Need-to-Remember Central, and it's a breath of fresh air for this lifelong list-maker:  I have it all in one spot now but tucked away on the back of the door so it doesn't "read" as clutter.  That's been just one improvement lately.  And now that I actually like the cupboard, I want to doll it up even more by papering the small wall-spaces inside the cupboard. . .give it a little more love.  Just like that, it's become a time-saver, a better use of space, and features a door I actually enjoy opening and seeing what's behind.  I myself feel so much more on top of things even with this one project, is the point.  And now that I have a better perspective on it all, I look forward to taking on everything else that's on my around-the-apartment to-do list.  Those to-do items no longer feel like problems or chores ahead of me, but instead opportunities and possibilities.  How good this all feels after watching everything fall apart around here the first seven months with this new job and new work schedule!  Ohhhhh, I love learning.  I love figuring it out.  Life already feels so much better, and 2018 is looking so much brighter.  ♥

Merry Christmas Eve

'Two new-old Christmas pillowcases added to our bedding here tonight.  Chinese food takeout, homemade sugar cookies, and dear Emmet Otter are up next in this little apartment.  I wish you all a sweet and cozy holiday season.  ♥

Looking for Santa (and Some Smarter Ways)

How sweet is Stuffed, staring at the empty Christmas stocking!  ♥  Or maybe he's looking at his own.  :)  This feels like the latest I've ever put up the tree, but it likely just seems that way because so much feels so out of control lately.  Tonight, right after I hit "Publish" on this and pour myself another iced tea, will be a feverish night of Decorate-the-Tree-and-Get-All-the-Holiday-Cards Ready-to-Mail-in-the-Morning.  Because of my wacky work schedule, I usually go to bed around 2 am, but I'm determined to get all this done tonight even if it means I climb into bed later than that.  I just can't handle having More!  Big!  Things!  hanging over my head another day.  I am still (forever and always) behind on laundry.  I have to finish Christmas shopping:  My big family Christmas is next weekend, the 15th/16th, since that's when I can get home for it, so I have to get it all done this next week.  Shoot, I still have to wash tonight's supper dishes.  Double-shoot, for that matter, I still have to put away the leaf and snowflake cookie cutters and frosting bags I used making my desserts on Thanksgiving.  (Containers of sprinkles, cookie cutters, food coloring tubes, sugars, etc. all need to be rearranged and re-fit into little tins and jars for these to be put away properly, but in the time it's taken to write this sentence, I could have gotten it at least half-done.)  And make that a triple-shoot:  I still have to put together the two bookshelves I mentioned in October.  There are just So!  Many!  little tasks like that to be done, is the issue, and I'm always exhausted, and in order to accomplish anything besides all the usual everyday chores, I either have to go to bed too late or force myself to start my day too early, and that's not  sustainable for long.  (That my writing and walking--and of course, running--have fallen by the wayside lately is almost more distressing than all the rest of this combined.)  And there are bigger to-do items too, which take more energy and/or a real chunk of time carved-out, and so it all falls further apart.  There are in-person bank errands to run, and student loan nonsense to sort-out and deal with, a new photo to be taken for my driver's license. . . .The lists are all long ones.  This is the first Christmas that I think I would have happily skipped both putting up a tree and sending cards--it's all just so much extra work and feels like a hassle this year--but I don't want to ruin Christmas for Mike, and I know myself well enough to know that maybe I would feel even worse, and life would feel even more out of control, if I had to look back on December knowing I didn't manage the tree or cards.  Everything that had been stored in the corner where the newly-put-up tree is, is now scattered throughout our tiny one-bedroom apartment, and the clutter--or THE CLUTTER (CLUTTER CLUTTER CLUTTER), since I say that word in a booming echo like enraged Saruman bellowing into the snowstorm--

--is driving me crazy/even more crazy, especially since everything-that-had-been-in-the-current-tree-corner-and-that-is-now-scattered-all-over was only in the current tree-corner because I had to move it from the hall closet to the corner in May when I turned the hall closet into the spot for my work-wardrobe.  I still haven't found a new spot for any of these things--but doing so was/is ON MY LIST!  Bwah ha ha!--so the fact that everything's now been shuffled around AGAIN just makes me want to give up and live in a hotel awhile.  This one, please!  

Add a pitcher of flowers, my journal, pens, and a stack of books, and fill the mini-fridge with iced tea for me, and I'M THERE, I tell you.  I'M THERE.  I hate clutter.  I hate clutter.  I am here surrounded by it tonight, though, and I am signing off to attempt the nightly slaying of a little more of it.  I am off both Friday and Saturday, is what I am holding onto in this regard tonight, and I can spend them reading in my chair with Stuffed, content knowing my cards are already are their way to everyone while the tree lights and decorations charm me from across the (I swear, I swear, if I have to stay up ALL NIGHT TONIGHT) organized and tidy apartment.  That will make me feel better for December, but I need to figure out some new and better ways moving forward because the schedules and routines that worked for me the seven years I had my now-old job are clearly just not the right ones anymore.  Alas. 

 

 
 

 


 
Oh, to have this cozy and tidy little home again!  Well, I had four days off every week with my old job, since all my hours were squashed into three loooong shifts before, so that made a huge difference.  And the hours themselves were quite different and allowed me to be home at times I could do noisy things like vacuuming, moving boxes and furniture around to reorganize things, clanking dishes together while washing them and putting them away, running up and down the three flights of stairs from our apartment to the basement to do laundry, etc. all without fear of waking Mike or any neighbors.  That made a difference too.  And I used to leave for work and return home from work at the same time every shift I worked, and I can no longer say that either.  Sometimes I get home from work at 6 pm now, but usually, it's 12:30 in the morning.  Other times, 11 pm.  Today's shift was supposed to have ended at 5:15 but saw me leaving at 6:05.  This is the job I had wanted for so long, though, and I am determined to make it work without letting everything else suffer.  I want some peace and organization and routine back.  I will get there again, I think, but it's going to take some real doing.  And realizing--really understanding now--that all the new jobs in my future will require that I figure out all new ways and routines to make them work too--has been eye-opening, indeed.  Ah, the constant adjustments and readjustments needed to make life run smoothly.  Onward and upward, and all that jazz, then, because I'm not climbing into bed every night of 2018 feeling like I just slid into home plate in a kick-up of dust (and to-do lists). 

Home Tonight

♥

Home Companion

♥

August Sunshine

One of this past week's projects has been painting the little window-wall in the main room. According to the paint chip, this color is "Saffron Thread," but let's be honest and call it "Egg Yolk" instead.    

It changes in the light but is more orange than yellow, exactly as I'd hoped. When the walls were still bare post-painting, I wasn't so sure about it, but now as I rehang each of the pots, pans, and needlepoints,  the color seems the shade I was going for, after all.  'One more coat for the pots and pans wall, a tumble in the wash for the curtains, and a rehanging of the string lights, and this project will be done, in time to brighten not-far-off fall days. 

♥

Patchwork Walls with the Christmas Tree

It took a few days longer than anticipated, but I finished patching the walls Saturday afternoon and got the tree up yesterday afternoon.  I love both:  the walls turned out exactly as I'd envisioned and the tree is my favorite one yet.  A package from my mom arrived Saturday afternoon, so there even a few presents under the tree already--blocking certain curious cats, hopefully, from chewing on the tree's lower boughs. 

I'll add my set-aside framed pictures to the walls after Christmas when this becomes my writing corner.

Most of the mishmash of wall fabrics are from Mom and other loved ones.  The Old English Sheepdog sketch fabric was a gift from my friend Kent, the pink chenille was from my grandparents' house, the blue floral and the green gingham were from Mom, a few of the floral handkerchiefs were flea market finds from Mom, the long-stemmed pink roses-on-white fabric was a 69-cent pillowcase I found at Goodwill with Mom one of the last times I was home, the few small patches of coral roses were cut off an old sweatshirt from my rag bag. . . .Thus I used most of the fabric I'd had stored-away here--and a hearty "Yeaaaaa!" to that. 

As my fabric-supply dwindled, some of the patches had to be reconstructed in a way that was especially patched--

--but it all turned out as I'd wanted. 

The touches of green gingham on these tiny walls are across from the green gingham curtain I have dividing the kitchen and dining spaces and diagonal from the green hutch in the corner, and already this small apartment looks so much cozier and so much more tied-together as a result. 

The tree is a simple one, only four feet tall but up on a tray-table and decorated with some favorite ornaments.  Most everything on it is handmade and/or a gift from someone.  (And most ornaments are from Mom, it seems.)  The skirt is one of my tablecloths.  The angel tree-topper was made by friend Sommer's mom when I was eighteen.  I made my stocking, and I think Mike's was a gift from my younger brother.  Stuffed's stocking is one of the rare things I saw and just had to buy, but it was too perfect to pass up.  

He snuggled up with it again last night when I unpacked it from its box.  The green snowflake cookie ornament next to it was a gift from Mom, as was the Chickadee ornament below that she painted. 

The pastel green patchwork pear was from Mom too and is actually a pincushion. 

. . .Pale green ice skates from Mom,

glittery pink deer from Mom,

a sign from my friend Madai,

a dear and detailed ornament from Aunt Laurie of the Cratchit home from A Christmas Carol,

a pink snowflake cookie from Mom,

a salt dough ornament I made of Stuffed years ago,

another Chickadee mom gave me,

and a few ornaments I've found, like this snowy window from a thrift shop about ten years ago,

two $1 doves from Barnes and Noble I glued together and joined with a heart,

a simple gingerbread man from the $1 bin at Target,

and so many snowflakes and handmade salt dough hearts. 

The only ornaments that seem to be missing this year are the pink candy cane salt dough ornaments I made years ago.  I've found the yellow, blue, and green ones.  An afternoon spent watching a Christmas movie while twisting salt dough into candy canes would be lovely, though, so. . .one of these days.  Next is Christmas card-mailing, and the sewing of an in-joke ornament for my dad, and otherwise I'm all set until a few days before the holiday when I begin baking.  I finished my Christmas shopping November 29th.  I get a little more organized every year, and despite having worked so many hours of overtime the past three months, this really is the most on top of things I've ever been with all this.  'Am quite proud of that.  'A few weeks now, then, to slow down and just enjoy it all. . .to look up from a good book every few pages to admire the newly-patched walls, and to nap with Stuffed in front of the string lights.  Bliss.  ♥

♥